Transitions in childhood and adolescence
Transitions, and the crossings children make.
Some changes are set by the school calendar: starting school, the move into Year 7, sixth form, university. Others arrive without warning, such as a parent’s illness, a separation or a bereavement. Children often carry a change in their bodies before they find the words for it.
What it can look like
How children tend to show it
Children rarely use the language of grief or anxiety for a change. More often they use the language of stomach aches, friendship trouble, or suddenly hating something they used to love. These are the ones we notice most.
Separation worries, later than expected
A child of 9 or 10 whose mornings have suddenly become hard again. It is rarely a step backwards; more often, the change is being felt somewhere it cannot yet be said.
Worry at bedtime
The worry about what is changing tends to arrive at bedtime, once the day has stopped asking anything of the child.
Not wanting to go in
The bright child who no longer wants to go in once the new term starts. Often the new setting is asking more than they can manage yet, and staying at home feels like the only way to say so.
Anger without a clear target
A child who has become snappy with siblings, or a teenager suddenly furious about small things. Sometimes anger is the only safe outlet for a harder feeling underneath.
The quiet child, quieter
Not every child shows difficulty loudly. Some manage by turning inward. It is worth watching for the child who has stopped asking for anything.
How we can help
Help through a change
Some changes call for a conversation with a therapist. Others need a steady parent, the right reading, and someone to help hold the parent’s own worry. We can offer each.
For your child
Therapy, in school or online
One-to-one sessions for your child, usually in school during the school day, or online for older young people. Where it helps, and with your agreement, our therapists can think with the school’s pastoral team about the weeks around a change, while protecting your child’s trust.
How therapy worksFor you
A parent consultation
When a change is affecting the adults in a family too, a consultation offers space to think about your child, and about yourself.
Parent consultationsTo read
The changing school shelf in The Parent Book
Chapters by our therapists on the move to secondary school, the 11+ year and a child who is grieving, with quick tips, things to do together and sheets to print. Part of it is free to read and to print, including what to do first and the first chapter you open; the rest comes with a subscription.
Open the shelfWhen to get in touch
When a change is not settling
Most children come through most changes with steady support at home. These are signs that a short conversation with us may help.
- The change happened more than four weeks ago, and the pattern has not shifted.
- Sleep, eating or behaviour at school has changed alongside it.
- It is a change your family has not been through before, such as a loss, a parent’s illness or a separation.
- A previous change was hard, and you would rather not leave this one to chance.
- You would like to talk it through with someone outside the family.
After a bereavement there is no timetable, and you are welcome to talk to us at any point.
Where there are physical symptoms, changes in eating or weight, or low mood that does not lift, please talk to your GP as well.
If you are unsure, a short email is the simplest place to start. Every enquiry is read personally, and we aim to reply within one working day.
If this is urgent
Kensington Square Therapy is not a crisis service. If you or your child is in immediate danger, call 999.
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If you need help right now
If you or your child is in immediate danger
999Call 999
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis
NHS 111England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves
Childline0800 1111
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk
NSPCC Helpline0808 800 5000
If you would prefer to text rather than speak
ShoutText SHOUT to 85258
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to
Samaritans116 123
Begin
Not sure where to start?
Tell us a little about your child. We will listen first, then suggest what might fit, including whether we are the right people to help.