Anxiety in children and young people
Anxiety, in the families who come to us.
Anxiety is among the most common reasons parents get in touch with us, and it changes shape as children grow. In a seven-year-old it may live in the stomach on Sunday evenings. In a 15-year-old it may look like a pupil who has quietly stopped putting a hand up in class.
What it can look like
How anxiety tends to show itself
Parents often arrive having read about anxiety online and found that none of it quite fits their child. These are the patterns we meet most often among children and young people in independent schools. None of them, on its own, is a diagnosis, and in our experience all of them can be worked with.
When the body speaks first
Stomach aches before school, and headaches that arrive at registration and lift by mid-morning. Tiredness that sleep does not seem to fix. The body is often saying something before the child has the words for it.
Pressure around performance
The capable child for whom every test has started to feel like a verdict. It tends to gather around assessment seasons, mock weeks and the run-up to the 11+ or GCSE choices, and is worth attending to before it becomes the child’s whole relationship with effort.
Worry that waits for bedtime
A child who manages all day can find the worry waiting once the light is off, turning over the day just gone and the one to come.
Going quiet socially
The pupil who has stopped putting a hand up, or asks to be collected early from parties. It can go unnoticed for months, because they are still going to school, still friendly, and still appear to be fine.
Separation, later than expected
A child in Year 5 or Year 6 whose drop-offs have become hard again. Usually this is a sign that something else is happening underneath, rather than a step backwards in itself.
How we can help
Where we might begin
Some families need one of these, and some need more than one. We will say what we think fits in the first conversation.
For your child
Therapy, in school or online
One-to-one sessions for your child, usually in school during the school day, or online for older young people. We do not begin from diagnosis; we begin from careful understanding. Where a specialist assessment would be the right step, we will say so.
How therapy worksFor you
A parent consultation
A space to think about what you are seeing at home and how to respond to it, whether or not your child comes to therapy. It can help to think it through before anything else begins.
Parent consultationsTo read
The anxiety shelf in The Parent Book
Our therapists’ writing on anxiety, gathered in one place: what to do first, quick tips, sheets to print, and the books, podcasts and films we recommend. Part of it is free to read and to print, including what to do first and the first chapter you open; the rest comes with a subscription.
Open the shelfWhen to get in touch
When a conversation may help
There is no threshold a child has to cross before therapy is appropriate. These are signs that a short conversation with us is likely to be useful.
- The pattern has lasted more than three or four weeks, and has begun to shape the family week.
- School has noticed, or has been in touch, and you would value a therapist thinking alongside you.
- Sleep has gone, or eating has changed, or both.
- You have read what you can, and would value someone who has sat with this many times before.
- An assessment year is approaching, and you would rather think about it now than later.
Where there are physical symptoms, changes in eating or weight, or low mood that does not lift, please talk to your GP as well.
If you are unsure, a short email is the simplest place to start. Every enquiry is read personally, and we aim to reply within one working day.
If this is urgent
Kensington Square Therapy is not a crisis service. If you or your child is in immediate danger, call 999.
Show helplinesHide helplines
If you need help right now
If you or your child is in immediate danger
999Call 999
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis
NHS 111England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves
Childline0800 1111
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk
NSPCC Helpline0808 800 5000
If you would prefer to text rather than speak
ShoutText SHOUT to 85258
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to
Samaritans116 123
Begin
Not sure where to start?
Tell us a little about your child. We will listen first, then suggest what might fit, including whether we are the right people to help.